Bad Idea

The state of Arizona has gotten a lot of press recently because it passed legislation requiring law enforcement officers to check the immigration status of people thought to be in the country illegally. Protesters believe this law is targeted at Mexicans and will result in many legal residents with dark skin and accents to be needlessly harassed by the police.

They could be right.

However, If law enforcement focuses its attention on people of Latin American decent they will miss the true threat to the American way of life:

Canadians.

"But Canadians are just like us" you might say.

Au contraire.

Canadians might look white and middle class and speak English (albeit heavily accented and with a questioning tone), they are definitely not like us.

Every year, hundreds of thousands of Canadians sneak into this country to take advantage of the proud tax-paying citizens of this great country.

• They overburden our health care system with their costly "elective" surgeries.
• They flood our streets and old-folk's homes with cheap prescription meds.
• They subvert our proud American system of measurement with their kilos, meters, and kilometers (the metric system is the beachhead of the communist invasion).
• They swill Labatts and Moosehead with reckless abandon (at least Mexicans drink Budweiser).
• They steal American jobs at ski resorts and river rafting tours.
• They take university positions away from hard-working American students.
• They take acting jobs from hard working American wait-staff (Jim Carey, William Shatner, Pamela Anderson, Dave Coulier, et al).
• They poison our political system with their socialist views and gun control.

I could go on and on.

When is the last time someone said they wanted to stop at a Canadian restaurant at 2AM after a night of hard drinking?

I'll tell you when: Never! If Canadians even have a national cuisine it's probably whale blubber and goose grease.

This spring I drove with the family to the great American state of Montana. Along the way, we saw hundreds of vehicles with Canadian license plates driving north. I can only assumes they were driving back to Canada after pillaging our great country.

This menace must be stopped. We need to build a wall along our northern border and station Army troops to prevent this invasion. Our government needs to work with the Canadian government to prevent this influx.

I suspect the Canadians will not be very cooperative. Immigration to the United States is a safety valve that allows the Canadian government to ignore their problems of high taxation and a collapsing socialized health care system. As long as Canadians can travel south for good jobs and liposuction, there is no need to reform their system.

Besides, every good cop knows you don't mess with the people who cook your food.