Saturday, July 26, 2008


After weeks of struggle...

...Abigail's tooth came out.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Hit The Showers

I love a good shower. Standing under its warm caress after 12 hours in the salt mine, washing the grime and cares of the day away. Pure bliss.

Back when I was a young kid and just getting used to the habit of being clean, I took showers every morning. And then I went to bed dirty. Now I hate going to bed feeling grimy.

Later I was a two-shower-a-day guy. One in the morning and one in the evening. Not anymore. Except on work days, I generally only take a shower before going to bed. It saves water or something.

I like to camp in places that have showers. There is nothing more gratifying than rinsing the soap and shampoo off before the timer shuts off the shower. There is nothing more frustrating than having the timer shut off when you're still covered in soap. It's no fun fumbling with quarters while shampoo drips into your eyes.

It's not that I don't like to get dirty. I just like to be able to clean up after.

Okay, maybe I don't really like to get dirty.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

And Another Thing...

... that really chaps my hide: loose toilet seats.

I know you thought I was going to say, "Republicrats" or "high gas prices" but those don't bother me nearly as much as a loose toilet seat.

There is no excuse for a loose toilet seat. It doesn't even require tools to fix. There is just a little plastic nut on the filthy underside of the toilet. Reach back there and give it a twist.

And then wash your hands really good. It's pretty gross under most toilet seats.

I know a guy who pinched his nut sack pretty badly when the toilet seat slipped, trapping him between the seat and bowl. He cried like a baby.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Okay, I Get It.

Every time we get into the car now, Aidan says "Don't crash into the pole."

Friday, July 18, 2008

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Where Were You in December 1988?

Love those glasses.

A Self-Portrait

Sweet Dreams

"No More Mini"

Last night Tabitha had low blood sugar while driving the kids back from Fontana. She remembers getting on the east bound 60 freeway in Rubidoux and then the rest is just a fog. The CHP tried to stop what they thought was a drunk driver. They realized she had a medical issue and dropped back.

The car finally came to a stop when she ran into a light pole at 50 miles per hour on an on-ramp to the 10 freeway in Cabazon.

The pole fell on top of the car.

Thankfully, neither Tabitha nor the kids have any serious injuries. Aidan seems to be the most shook up. He was angry with Mommy for making him bite his tongue. He will be okay.

Thank you Mini for giving up your life to protect my family.

Monday, July 14, 2008

There Isn't Much Cuter than a Two-Year-Old...

... in a tuxedo.

Aidan had the honor of serving as Ring-Bearer in Jenna and Will's wedding.

Abigail enjoyed herself too.

Aidan was a whirl of activity at the reception.

Monday, July 7, 2008

On His Blindness

I was driving home from my shift at the salt mine early this morning. I rubbed my tired right eye and my contact lens popped out.

Uh oh!

Thanks to the miracle of modern medicine, I can put a tiny plastic disk in my eye and have better than perfect vision. Unfortunately, without those little helpers I'm as blind as a bat in the noonday sun.

So there I was travelling down the 91 freeway at two thirty in the morning with the cruise control set at 87 miles per hour. With one good eye.

I could see clearly if I closed my right eye but I had no depth perception. If I opened both eyes I had depth perception but everything was distorted. I was still forty miles from home so stopping was not an option.

So anyway, I made it home safely. The worst part was pulling into the garage. I wasn't sure how close I was to the wall. Luckily I didn't run into anything.

Today, I'm putting a spare pair of glasses in the car in case this happens again.

A Little Something Extra:

Nobody believes you when you claim you are wearing your friend's pants. Especially when there is heroin in the pants and you have fresh puncture marks on your arms. Try to come up with a better story next time.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

So That's What Happened to All of the Toilet Paper

The roll is too attractive for idle two-year-old hands.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

A Small Victory?

In the battle of the sexes, victory is measured by...?

Not ground gained, enemy combatants killed, or total annihilation of the enemy. If you treat a relationship like a battle, then there can be no victory.

That being said...

Tabitha told me the other day that she was going to get all three "National Treasure" movies and watch them this week. I said there were only two "National Treasure" movies. She looked at me with pitying eyes and said that no, there were, in fact, three movies. I said I was pretty sure there were only two.

Today she told me she watched "National Treasure" with Abigail and that, yes, there were only two "National Treasure" movies.

I'm not gloating. I'm only putting it on record because it is very rare that I'm correct.