Joke of the Day

A man is walking with St. Peter through Heaven during his new member orientation. They pass a room. The man looks inside and sees a priest delivering mass to a group of worshippers. St. Peter tells the man the worshippers are Roman Catholic.

They continue walking and soon pass another door where a group of people are passing out food. "Methodists," St. Peter replies to the man's quizzical look.

Soon, they walk past another door. Loud music echoes down the hallway. The man looks inside and sees dozens of people dancing, singing, laughing, and raising their hands. "I'm guessing they're Pentecostals?" he says. "Correct."

They turn a corner. The man hears raised voices arguing. As he gets closer to the door, the din grows louder. He can hear harsh words flying back and forth. He opens the door and ducks as a Bible flies out. The sound is deafening. Everywhere he turns he sees people arguing, pointing fingers at each other, and fighting.

"Who are these people?" the man asks.

"Calvinists." replies St. Peter. "They haven't stopped arguing long enough to realize anybody else is here."

It Doesn't Make Sense

A while back my pastor told us that God had intended for humans to have eternal life on earth. But for the sin of Adam and Eve, we would live forever. He used some Bible verses to support his assertion but I'm too lazy to look them up.

It sounds pretty good. No dying. You never have to lose your grandparents, parents, or children.

Sweet.

Except there's a problem.

That's a lot of people.

There are about 6 billion people living on our planet right now. The number grows most years. There's lots of people making babies out there. It doesn't grow as fast as it could because people die.

If we go back only 7000 years (for the young earth creationists out there) and add up all the people who were ever born, that's a lot of people. I'm no math whiz, but it's a number higher than I can count. If we go back even further, the number gets way bigger.

That's a lot of people to clothe, house, and feed. Not to mention the waste disposal issue.

I know what you are going to say: "The earth was magic before the Fall. The natural laws we have now didn't apply back then."

Right.

Spiritual Life Retreating

My church is doing a survey. The church has apparently contracted with an organization to give a computer survey to determine what the needs of the churchgoers are. The survey asks questions about one's spiritual life, how one feels about the church leadership, and then finishes up with a few demographic questions. I took the survey and learned a few things about myself.

I learned that I don't have much of a spiritual life. I rarely read my Bible, I don't attend a regular Bible study, I seldom pray, and I don't, in fact, even attend church very often. None of this was news to me.

My church is a mega-church. There are about 4000 people attending services every weekend. It's very difficult for the pastors of my church to know every person who attends the church. Thus the survey.

The questions fit into a nice Evangelical box - how often do you have an in-depth study of your bible? How often do you pray? Why do you pray? How often do you share your faith? How do you share your faith? No surprise since it is an Evangelical church.

But I'm not much of an Evangelical anymore. I'm not satisfied with the Evangelical answers anymore. But I still like my church.

Because of my schedule, I can attend church only about twice a month. My schedule also conflicts with the men's Bible study. We attend a little church twice a month. I love little church even though we're watching "The Truth Project." Unfortunately, little church doesn't meet over the summer so any continuity is lost. My pastor is great at many things. Preaching isn't one of them. He preaches far too many topical sermons for my taste. But I haven't seriously thought of leaving the church.

In spite of my wishy-washyness, every other Saturday night I look forward to going to church.

I like my church. Or more precisely - I like the people who I know at my church. After all, church isn't a place, it's the people.

So I did the survey. But the survey is not the real me. It doesn't really reflect the questions and concerns I have. It was just me checking some boxes so I could finish and do something else.

I Love This Country

In the circles I run in, you hear a lot about how "We need to take this country back for God" and "This country was founded on Judeo-Christian values." I'm not sure what "Judeo-Christian values" are but I'm pretty sure they don't include animal sacrifices, polygamy, and stoning.

Evangelical Christians have had unprecedented access to political power for the past 30 years. Jimmy Carter, for all of his Southern liberalism, was a "born again" Christian. The religious right rallied to thrust Ronald Reagan into the White House. Evangelicals turned the Democrats out of Congress in the 90's and helped George W. serve eight years in office. Evangelical pastors have had the ear of the president and Congress for a while now.

To what end?

The past thirty years have seen a continued erosion of "Judeo-Christian values" in this country. Divorce, drug use, pornography, teen pregnancy, gay rights, abortion.... The list goes on.

All of this political power has netted Christians in this country nothing.

Vote for whomever or whatever you think is best in November but don't think it's going to stem the tide. It's time Christians started leading by example and not by legislation.

I Was Listening to NPR Yesterday...

... When I heard the Pope speaking at the White House. I didn't know the Pope was an elderly German lady.

Is Your God...Jehovah?

In 1997 Tabitha and I were able to chaperone a group of American Junior High kids on a trip through Italy, Austria, and Hungary. One component of the trip was a home stay. The students and chaperones got to spend a couple of nights with a host family.

Tabitha and I stayed with a family in the little town of Bad Hall outside of Salzburg. They had two adult children and lived in a home they were building on the side of a hill. The views of the Alps were amazing.

Austria is a predominently Catholic country. There is little to no Protestant presence, particularly in the smaller towns. Our host mother knew we weren't Catholic. One day, she asked us, "Is your God...Jehovah?" Tabitha and I looked at each other, both thinking Jehovah is one of the names we call God, and answered "Yes."

Our host mother got a knowing look in her eye and said, "Ohh." The subject never came up again but we noticed a certain coldness in her attitude toward us.

After we had left the country, we realized our host mother thought we were Jehovah's Witnesses.