Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Greetings From America

I have noticed on my Sitemeter that I have been getting readers from other countries. Let me be the first to say, "Welcome to America."

Many of my non-American readers probably harbor some misconceptions of Americans.

- Americans all wear cowboy hats.
- Americans chew gum.
- Americans drive big cars.
- Americans carry pearl-handled six-shooters strapped to our hips.
- Americans speak louder than anyone else.
- Americans speak only English.
- Americans think they do own the whole world.
- Americans don't care what happens in other countries.
- Americans are Budweiser swilling NASCAR fans.
- Americans eat cheeseburgers at every meal.

The Fine Print:

The author of the blog "Cast Iron Skillet," TimB, would like to apologize for the attitudes and actions expressed in the above list. While many of these attitudes and actions can be found in Americans, the author has found that Mexicans tend to wear cowboy hats, Canadians chew gum, Saudis drive large cars, Afghanis carry pearl-handled AK-47s, Germans are very loud, the English generally only speak English, and the Chinese own the whole world. The last three statements in the list are generally true of Americans except for the cheeseburgers. We don't eat them for every meal, only twice a day.

If we have bombed your country within the last 10 years, I apologize on behalf of all Americans. If George Bush has pressured your leader to participate in an ill conceived invasion of a sovereign country within the past seven years, I apologize. If you watch Hollywood movies while eating McDonald's food and drinking Coca-Cola, I apologize.

No comments: